I asked my dad to give me a blessing of comfort before church started. In the blessing he said something along the lines of, "Mallorie as you speak from your heart and with the spirit you will be able to convey the message that you have prepared. And if you forget about the eloquence of the words and focus on the spirit behind the words the Lord will lift you." This line from my blessing really stood out to me. I tried to focus on these words as my mom drove Tyler Beus and me to the chapel.
Not only was I speaking today, but I also had to sing a song. I would much rather sing, but the Bishop insisted that I do both. I said a quick prayer before sacrament began, asking the Lord for confidence in the words that I would give that day, and I prayed to have the spirit. As I sat up on the stand tapping my leg rhythmically, I peeled open the note that Tyler gave to me before sacrament. After reading the note my feet were steady, and I felt a little more at ease. I winked to my mom and waved to baby Jackson. I really just wanted to get this over with.
As it came time for me to sing "My Heavenly Father Loves Me," combined with "I Need Thee Every Hour" I could feel my knees start to shake. But as I thought about the feeling behind the words that I sang, I forgot about my nerves, and I began to feel peace. Luckily, after I sang there was another boy who gave his talk, so I had a little time to regenerate myself.
Right when I got up to the pulpit to speak, I felt fear creeping over me. But as I began to speak that fear literally just fell away. I was able to connect my thoughts and share experiences without having to look down at my papers too often. I felt really blessed that day because I know that the Lord lifted me to be able to do those things.
I feel so grateful to have family that cares enough to drive up to Boise to spend time with us this weekend, and I will miss the Henkels very much. Also, my mom was so incredible for sacrificing her Mother's Day in order for me to have a farewell and an open house later that evening. She was so great because I had no idea how to run an open house. I would have just had my talk and called it good, but I am lucky to have a mom who pushes me to ya know, like talk to people n' stuff.
